There are moments in life when enough is enough – times where you have to take action to get someone to leave you alone.
If you’re in a situation that is getting out of hand, whether it’s in person, by phone, in writing, or online, you should know there are ways to solve it. It’s never an easy thing to fix, but there are ways to improve your situation.
But we know how frustrating and difficult it can be to rectify a problem such as this. Where do you even start, from a social or legal standpoint, to try and get another person to leave you alone?
If you find yourself worried and stuck about what to do then don’t worry – this article has been written to help you.
We’re going to take you through each of your options, from early warnings you can give to the person, to eventual legal processes that are in place to help you out of a tough situation.
Why Might You Need To Get Someone To Leave You Alone?
Sometimes you have to do what is best for you and have separation from another person. Whether it is a family member you no longer wish to see, a friend that has turned into a negative force in your life, to an intimate relationship that was once good but is now toxic.
Many such relationships can force you to re-evaluate and force you to act.
Consider this – will the person leave me alone if I do nothing? If the answer is yes often then you might not have to worry about it. Time will allow you to be left alone.
However, since you’ve come to this article, it’s likely that this is not already an option and the person you have in mind is actively not allowing you space or peace of mind. This is the moment where you need to take action.
The first action you must take is to tell the person in person, over the phone, or in writing that you wish to be left alone. Whilst this might seem like an obvious step, it’s important to realize that you should make sure you have made it abundantly clear to them.
Relationships of many different kinds can be complicated and so often in everyday speech, our intentions and wishes get blurred. This is the moment when you can make it very clear to the person that you wish to be left alone – and sometimes this might be enough to get you the peace you want.
In-person, over the phone, or in writing say to them very plainly that you no longer wish to be bothered. It is important, to be honest here. If you’re not then the person you’re sending the message to might not understand exactly what you mean.
Tell them that you want to be left alone and if you feel the need to tell them exactly why you would like to be left alone. You don’t have to give them a reason why, but this may help them understand your wishes.
If the person is still insistent then you will need to push a little further with your warning – tell them if they don’t leave you alone then you will be forced to take further action.
After this ensure you stay true to your word and cut off all communication with them. Don’t phone them an additional time, or open your door to them, or accept meetings with them in any place. Don’t accept messages online or in the post.
If at this point you find that the person is still not leaving you alone, you will have to take further steps to ensure your safety and or peace of mind.
The next important step is to ensure that you have a good network of support around you. If the person that won’t leave you alone is starting to make you feel frightened for your safety, it’s very important to have other people around to corroborate your story.
An important thing to do is to go to a friend or family member and let them know what is going on.
With this trusted person, make sure you tell them the details of your situation. Be honest with them, they must know exactly what has been happening. Listen to their advice, and ask them if they will help you.
If your situation is rising to the point where the person is still not leaving you alone, you are going to have to start taking extra action. If a person continues to follow, call on, phone, or bother you with letters or online, it may be that you are being stalked or harassed.
In the United States, there have been laws made to stop this kind of thing from happening. then it is very important to realize you are not alone. There are systems in place to help you here.
Note: it is very important at this point that you consider the severity of your situation. If at any point you feel as if your life is in danger, you need to get in contact with the authorities.
If a person is following, giving you unwanted gifts or letters, hanging around public places in order to see you, spying on you from a distance, or interfering with your personal property – these are all signs of a stalker/harassment. Take action and be careful!
There are resources either online or in-person that you can use to help you. Depending on your state and physical location, you might have a variety of options available to you. Check online if you can, or call a stalking/harassment helpline. Once you’ve done this you should be able to get in contact with a professional.
If the matter is happening at work, then you need to contact your employer and explain the severity of the situation to you. If it is happening at school, you need to contact your teacher or principal. But if you are being harassed then you will need to get police intervention.
At this point, it is worth letting the person that won’t leave you alone know the actions you are taking. Tell them you are in the process of getting legal help, whether it be the police or otherwise. This could be enough to stop them from bothering you further.
Always keep in mind your safety, however, and do not approach them if you feel that they are a physical or emotional threat.
Okay, so you’ve tried everything else and the person is still not leaving you alone. You’ve let somebody else in your life know your situation and perhaps you’ve already talked to some of the resources available that are there to help.
If you still find yourself harassed, stalked, or bothered, this is the time for you to take legal action.
A restraining order, which is also sometimes known as a protective order, is a legal order that is made to help you if someone is harassing or physically harming you.
In the United States, there are different kinds of restraining orders which can be given out by different courts depending on your location. Restraining orders can vary in reach and length.
The first thing that is important to keep in mind is the difference between a civil and criminal restraining order. A criminal restraining order can only be requested by the state or federally, whilst a civil restraining order can be requested personally by you.
If the police are already involved in your situation, then there is a chance the person bothering you might be issued a criminal restraining order by the courts. If not, you have the option to try and get a civil restraining order.
If you manage to get one, it’s likely the person who won’t leave you alone will be prohibited from contacting you or traveling within a certain distance of you.
Filing A Restraining Order
Filing a restraining order is a long process that involves first identifying the court near to you that you will be using. It’s important to note that different courts are required in the U.S. when you consider what the relationship of the person is to you.
Try and figure out which is the court you’ll need to use. Once you know this, you can go to court and get the required paperwork for filing a restraining order.
After this, you will need to carefully fill out the forms, make copies and then file them with the court clerk. It’s worth noting here – for peace of mind – that it’s unlikely you’ll be charged here.
A majority of states in the U.S. do not have filing fees for restraining orders as they understand the severity of the situation.
Next, you will need to obtain some evidence to justify the order. This is an important step as a court will not file the order without sufficient evidence. If the person that won’t leave you alone has left a record of notes, emails, messages on social media, or phone calls – you need to make a record of these.
Additionally, if there are any particularly important encounters with the person in your memory then you will want to make extensive accounts of these. Make sure you state plainly that you are being harassed or stalked.
The further details of filing a restraining order can include – obtaining police reports and medical records, witnesses, as well as any past details of your stalker/harasser.
All of this can help your case. After that, there will be a court hearing to determine whether or not your restraining order will be passed.
As you can see, getting a restraining order is a lengthy process and there are no guarantees that it will be passed. It’s important to make sure you take each step of the process seriously and spare no expense if you believe it is what you truly need to be left alone.
We hope that this article has offered you some of the help you need to stop someone from bothering you. It’s worth noting that every case is different and you may need to do additional things to ensure your own safety and peace of mind.
We recommend considering each step very carefully before making decisions but would like to remind the reader that if you are ever in any danger to contact the police without hesitation.
Whatever your situation is, we hope it gets better and that you find a way to have some peace again!