Last Updated on November 1, 2021 by Fair Punishment Team

Divorce settlements are often stressful and worrisome times for every party involved. Many people want to get in and out of the settlement meeting as quickly as possible so that they don’t have to be subjected to that environment for too long.

However, taking your time and being well prepared for the settlement can help you to get the meeting concluded quickly while still getting everything that you’re entitled to. Many women hear toxic statements throughout their entire divorce process. 

These might be from people who mean well, but hearing things like ‘take him for every penny he’s worth!’ or ‘make sure that you get everything!’ can make you even more stressed and upset than you were beforehand. 

Not every divorce is bitter and nasty, and there is a way to divorce your ex-spouse without it turning this way.

You can ask for whatever you feel entitled to in the divorce, although you’ll need a good reason if it’s more than what you’re entitled to. 

Nowadays, it doesn’t matter who’s idea the divorce was or why a divorce was settled upon – the laws for both men and women are the same.

Typically, the state laws will entitle you to equitable distribution and child support if required. 

Equitable distribution

This term means that any assets purchased or given to you during the marriage will be split equally. You can ask for 50% of the accumulated value of all of these belongings. 

The main things to look for are real estate, vehicles, the value of your 401k, and other investments. 

Don’t get hung up on the minute details of the candlesticks or the drapes. These can be worked out privately between you, and it’s not worth your time to be going through every single piece of inventory of your lives together. 

Child support

If you have children together and your ex-husband earns more money than you do, you will likely be entitled to child support. Each state has its own child support calculator to determine how much you will be getting. 

Depending on how much each of you earns, you will probably also be able to ask for money to cover the children’s out-of-pocket expenses.  

What is a fair divorce settlement?

Most states define a fair divorce settlement as one that splits the assets 50/50 between both parties, so this is often a general starting point for the courts to look for. However, this does not mean that the assets will be split right down the middle. 

A common misconception is that both parties will get half of the real estate value, half of the car values, and half of everything else.

However, the assets are more commonly divided in an equal and fair way, focusing on who needs what more. 

Instead of selling everything and giving both spouses a lump sum of money but leaving them without any assets, the courts will go through who is more in need of each item. 

For example, if the woman will have more custody of the children, the courts might rule that she gets to keep the house. The ex-husband will then be reimbursed for the same value of the house in other assets. 

It’s not always possible to get a completely 50/50 split of the assets. The spouse who earns less money might be offered a higher amount of the assets because it will take them longer to build the value back up. 

Again, the spouse who is looking after the children will often be rewarded more assets to ensure that the children are accounted for.

Finally, the spouse who might have sacrificed their career to look after the children might be given more capital in a divorce. 

It’s important to remember that every divorce is different. The longer the marriage was, the more assets you’ll share, and therefore the more the court will have to split between you. 

What should a man ask for in a divorce settlement?

The things that a man can ask for in a divorce settlement tend to be the same as that of a woman.

The only difference is that the ex-wife is more likely to keep the children living with her and therefore will be entitled to more of the assets due to looking after the children and keeping them safe, with transportation, shelter, and enough capital to look after their needs. 

However, this will depend on the custody that is awarded to both of the parents.

Women tend to be given a better amount of custody, although this isn’t always the case. If the husband wants more or equal amounts of custody, he has the right to ask for it. 

Once the custody agreement has been settled, you can determine what you want to ask for during the divorce. The marital home will be awarded to one of the spouses, although the other might be awarded half of the equity in the home. 

If you have been given equity of the home but your ex-spouse has been awarded the home itself, you can ask them to buy your equity in the home from you.

This will allow them to own the whole house with you getting a settlement payment to spend on your own home. 

It’s important to remember that this might not be the best option for your ex-spouse and having to purchase your equity in the house might be a financial burden for them. Especially when kids are involved, you might not want to put them through this stress. 

To avoid this, you can grant them the entire house in exchange for the same amount of value in other assets.

You can ask for life insurance, a smaller share of your accumulated debt, more of the family heirlooms or jewelry, or a higher percentage of the retirement funds. 

Just like women, the men can ask for whatever they feel like they’re entitled to within the divorce. Whether the court will allow it and support your reasoning is another matter altogether.